How To Deal With “Mom Bullies”

Ah, Bullies.

Something children have dealt with for ages growing up.

And if you’re a girl you probably know that girl bullies can be particularly nasty.

But you’re an adult now! You’ve graduated high school, started a family, and bullies are a thing of the past. Right?

Wrong.

Because along with becoming a mom, comes what?

Mom Bullies.

You read that Right, I just used the words mom and bullies together. Which, if you were in middle school, would be the last two words you’d ever think we’re able to be put together.

The sad reality of life is that drama doesn’t stop just because you’re out of high school, and quite often bullies don’t change just because they’ve gotten a diploma. I’ve found bullies are a special breed of humans, so unsatisfied with themselves that they feel the need to hear others down. That doesn’t just change over night.

So, what is a mom bully anyway?

Mom Bullies, in a sense, are everywhere. 

And they could be anyone. 

It’s the old woman in the restaurant harassing the mother quietly trying to nurse her child.

It’s the third cousin going on and on about how you’re spoiling your child rotten by letting them co-sleep.

And, yes, it’s the woman going on and on about how you’re a horrible mother because you chose to circumcise your son.

More often than not, though, mom bullies are fellow moms found in their natural habitat- mom groups on Facebook.

I cannot tell you how many are running rampant in cyber space with no one regulating the words that flow from their keyboard.

These computer screen warriors pick fights with everyone over EVERY thing that they can think of.

Why?

Because they know best of course. And God forbid they let a post slip by without informing the mother of the proper way to do whatever it is tbat she’s doing wrong.

*insert eye roll here.*

Don’t get me wrong, if you’re one of the people who respectfully shares your opinion and research, you’re not a bully.

If you cram it down people’s throats and don’t know when to let a comment die down?

You are.

So, in light of your newfound knowledge of what a mom bully is, here are some ways to deal with them.

1.) First and foremost- Don’t let them intimidate you. (Or if they do, don’t let them know.) 

Bullies are like sharks. They can smell fear from a mile away and they feed off it. It adds to their sense of superiority. 

When in doubt, fake it ’til you make it.

2.) Don’t be quiet.

When you let them degrade others parenting choices (or your own) without speaking up you let them think they can do whatever they’d like. And by staying silent you’re discouraging others from speaking up too.

It only takes one voice to start a chorus, tell the person to shove it!

Okay, not necessarily in those words. But a shut up would suffice.

3.) Know their opinion is just that-an opinion. One of many. And who are you to lose sleep over the opinion of some person online you’ve never met  and probably never will? It’s their loss they’re such a sad, lonely person. 

4.) God invented the block button for a reason honey, use the shit out of it. 

I’m not saying block every Tom, Sick, & Harry who has different views than you. But block every Tom, Dick, & Harry who shove their views down your throat and belittle you as a parent for being different from them.

5.)Have confidence in your decisions as a mother. 

After all, is Mary sue from your Facebook group the one who lives with, feeds, bathes, and provides for your children? No? Then how could she possibly know what’s best for them, having never laid an eye on them in her Life?

You are the one who knows your children and their needs best. You grew them, after all.

Have confidence in the decisions you make, and make them in the interest of their well being.

6.) Do your own research. 

Don’t believe the first random infograohic Mary Sue comments on your status. Any idiot can make an infograohic and make it say whatever the hell they want it to.

Do your own research, combine that with your mommy instincts and personal circumstances and BAM. You have yourself an informed decision.

7.) Know that you’re a good mom. The fact that you’re taking care of your children and are worried about their health and wellbeing says enough about your ability as a mother.

Don’t sit around waiting for Mary Sues approval, you’ll find it in your babies eyes!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s